jordanabina
Not going to lie to you, years ago I read The Way of the Wild at Heart by John Eldredge and it nearly broke me in half. I had some serious thinking and self-reflection to do; the book made me go and spend time with my heavenly father and work out my hurts with my earthly father and also forced me to address the type of father I currently was. Because of this, I avoided Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge like the plague. I am married to a wonderful woman, and I have 3 children, two of them being girls. To say it frankly, because of how much the first Eldredge book I read affected me, I was way too scared to read this one. But, in the end, time won out.
Captivating is written for women and is addressing the reader as being primarily female, which made for an interesting read. I mean it wasn’t a big deal that the book thought I was a woman but not being a woman I constantly was thinking to myself, this is really what a woman is thinking, needing, and experiencing. The goal for me was to better understand my wife and make an investment into myself by taking time to learn about the women in my life. As a man, I don’t always see things the way my wife does (I can hear her saying amen somewhere) and to be honest I’ve never set aside time to just learn about her in this way.
We live in a world where the rights of women and the fight for equality has been a constant. As a man, I’ve never had to experience this, never once. Never once did I wonder if I would get the job because I was a man, never once did I feel harassed sexually by a woman, and never once have I ever had a thought about inferiority because of my gender. But women, on the daily, experience this. Because of this, our society has promoted a narrative of who women are and who they should be, and in some ways, this again may put women into a corner. It forces them now fit another mold; to be independent, strong willed, and doing something that any man can do. But what it fails to look at is the deeper question, who did God make women to be?
The conversation throughout this book discussing what beauty is was worth reading this book twice and maybe three times. Our view of beauty and promotion of it can be so twisted. I found it very helpful to read the unpacking of what a woman means by beauty and what scripture says about beauty. Beauty is important, beauty is most magnified in the crown of creation which is the woman. Just look around you, the female body is the pinnacle of beauty in our society, but that can create an impossible world for women to live in, constantly feeling like they never measure up. I was humbled and convicted about how I’ve allowed myself to define beauty and reminded how beautiful the women around me are. With that, I think every woman needs to read how beauty plays a role in the man’s life as well. The beauty of woman unlocks a part of a man that calls him to be the best version of himself. So much to that, so good, just read the book.
Some of the parts of this book I had to pause and just digest, it can be a lot (for the male reader) to understand fully how a woman interprets the world around her. There is a deepness to a woman that a man can only experience with her help, and there are wounds that quite frankly a man will never feel the same way. There is a power found in women that men will not experience unless they dedicate their life to bringing out the best in the women God has blessed them with. The portion of this book that took time to define what it means to be an ezer kenegdo was so insightful, truly my wife has been a lifesaver.
Some of my biggest takeaways from this book were the sections that broke down what it looked like for a woman to be a warrior and yet retain her feminine self, the discussion of how every woman wants to be pursued and how God made it like that, and how deeply women feel things, especially their hurts. My purpose as man isn’t just for myself, it’s to bring out the best in the woman God has gifted me with, she reveals the weaknesses in my life by blossoming in her strengths. What a great God we serve.
I couldn’t recommend this book more. Psalm 1 asks us to meditate on God’s law both day and night and to allow it to nourish our lives, to me this is an amazing book to dwell on. Ask the Holy Spirit to point out the things in you that need adjustment. Woman, was God’s idea, and we will need His help to understand her completely. Men, you need to read this book, it may sting, but you need it. Woman, thanks for being beautiful both inside and out. Thank you for reminding us of the romance, to sweetness, and the mystery to life. you are truly captivating.
